Kyler Murray ain't got nothin on me!

5'11* 195 lb* (*no way he is this tall and weighs this much) duel athlete Kyler Murray is in the news because he is probably going to choose the NFL over the MLB. People are talking about how great of an athlete he is and how he can be a 1st round pick or play baseball and make it to the MLB blah blah blah. I am not saying he isn't a great athlete, I am not saying that he isn't one of the top QBs in the draft this year and I'm definitely not saying he should play baseball and have to ride a bus in the minors in hopes he makes it to the big leagues. Fuck that I would never ride a bus city to city even if I was worth 5+ million dollars. None of that is my point.

My point is that everyone is making a big deal that he can play 2 sports. You know what I say to that... shits weak. Now would Kyler Murray beat me in the 40? Yup. Could he run a mile before I finished running 100 yards? Yup, thats because I don't wanna run 100 yards.

I am not a professional athlete but if you don't include any former/current professional athletes I would say I am the best all around athlete in America that doesn't involve high cardio for more than 10 consecutive seconds.

Listen I am 6 foot nothing 280lb+ but you put a ball in my hand and its game over. No, that didn't sound great for myself but you get it. Lets run down the sports that I would dominate most everyday Americans at.

Golf- Now this is my profession, I am not quiet a scratch golfer but I also am not rich and have hours and hours to practice every day. I have a 1.3 handicap so I'm no scrub.

Baseball- Played my whole life, blew out my arm in High School, Liked golf much more and knew I wasn't going to college other than to fuck around with my buddies so gave it up after high school. I went to a showcase for a Community College my senior year cause I figured why not. I got clocked at 84 MPH with a torn tendon and during batting practice I racked. They wanted me to go there but I knew I wasn't going to cause as I was throwing my whole right arm was numb and couldn't feel my fingers. Then about 6 years after High School I helped coach a high school team, I strapped on the catchers gear during some base running drills and started hosing those little fuckers down from my knees behind home plate. I knew I still had it. By the way, never caught a game in high school.

Basketball- I am not the best. I don't like running up and down the court, I am not tall enough, but in a game of HORSE I could do some damage and definitely could shoot FT at a better clip than Andre Drummond.

Badminton- Now here is a sport that I have the same winning percentage as '72 dolphins. I was dominate in gym class. I never lost a match. Some would say I am the Roger Federer of Badminton but that wouldn't do me justice. I can place that shuttlecock wherever I want to on that court.

Tennis- Lets stay with the racquet sports. Now 4 years ago, I would challenge anyone to a set match and have a good chance at beating them. I am now 30 years old, I don't wanna exert that much energy anymore in anything. But you give me a good doubles partner and I guarantee that we run circles around people. I got a serve that is so unpredictable it will scare people, and a drop shot that has so much spin on it you won't have a chance.

Hockey- Never played in my life. I have played street & floor hockey, and thats what I am talking bout here. You give me a stick and ill have you on the ropes in 3 bar like Bombay had Stansson before the cheap shot to the knee.

Football- Another sport that I never played. Now of course my buddies and I always throw the pigskin around, especially day drinking in college the first nice day after winter. I was a master at the cross route leading them in stride thru the parked cars and throw a fade that would make Rodgers blush. I also would run routes probably as graceful as Mike Alstott would, but these hands are as good as any.

Curling- Now this is a easy one. Nope never played it, but I have played shuffleboard on land and the table version. I would assume its pretty much the same but just on ice. Probably would take me a few times to get it down but I would assume I could make a curling team within a few months with the touch I got.

You get my point. 2 sport athlete Kyler Murray ain't got nothing on me. I am at least a 8 sport athlete and honestly you introduce me to a game where I don't have to run for more than 10 seconds I'll pick it up with ease and dominate you.